Today we want to provide 5 reasons why second marriages end in divorce. Second marriages often end in divorce, and the reasons vary. However, the most common reason is that it is simply easier to give up on marriage the second time around. According to divorce experts, 70% of people who divorce their first spouse decide to remarry. Nearly 30% of all marriages now involve at least one party who has already been married at least once.
The stats show that men tend to remarry faster than women, and Caucasians remarry at the highest rate compared to Asians and African Americans. Unfortunately, second marriages rarely last more than 8 years. Some couples have even stated that you can complete divorce online.
Top 5 Reasons Many Second Marriages End in Divorce
While fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages fail to have a happily-ever-after. The reasons second and third marriages seem so doomed include the following:
1. Sex, Money and Interfering In-Laws
Many second marriages end up in divorce because of The Big Three: sexual incompatibility, money problems, and interfering in-laws. Experts claim that during a second or third marriage, sexual issues become more transparent, and spouses tend to compare their sex experiences.
Money issues often arise over child support, alimony, and voluntary contributions to first families. In-law tensions may double when existing in-laws compete against the new spouse for their child’s time and attention.
2. Fights Over Children
Children are often cited as the main reason first marriages stay together, but kids play a different role in second marriages. New spouses usually have highly charged relationships with their step-children, and other parenting ideas can generate tension in a marriage.
Children often don’t get along with the kids from a different marriage, and problems frequently arise between spouses if they feel they are not supported in the decisions they make about disciplining step-children.
3. Resentments Between an Ex-Spouse and a Current One
Some ex-spouses are perfectly happy to see their former spouses remarry, but others may become resentful. The resentments often lead to renewed family court trips to renegotiate alimony, child support, and visitation rights.
Ex-spouses often force their former spouses into court to negotiate even the simplest agreements. Some even turn their children against a former spouse or the new spouse.
4. Being Uninvested in the New Marriage
Surprisingly, a new spouse might decide to stay uninvested in a second marriage. Often, the first marriage led to kids, long-term family relationships, and memories that may date back to primary school. It is hard to work up a lot of concern for a new marriage with no children or long-standing ties.
It is easier to give up on the marriage than deal with constant bickering and fighting when things go south. Divorce simply is not as scary the second time, and new family problems are easy to shed because the basic emotional investment in the new marital relationship is lacking.
5. Married for the Wrong Reasons
Feeling lonely or needing a breadwinner or housekeeper are very poor reasons to get married. However, many divorced people marry for the wrong reasons. These include:
- Financial security
- Companionship or sex
- Making a former spouse jealous
- Fear of being alone
- Temporary infatuation with someone very different from the former spouse.
Any reason for getting married other than love quickly wanes. Infatuations fade, and loneliness exists even in a marriage. Rushing from one failed relationship into another is never a good reason for tying the knot.
Get Premarital Counseling
Before getting remarried, the best strategy for a successful second marriage is to seek premarital counseling and financial planning. Divorce statistics are not encouraging for second or third marriages, and a little advance planning might head you off from making (another) big mistake.