Have you ever fantasized about becoming the belle of the ball? This dream became a reality for engineer turned debutante Nicole Rémy after she was cast as the leading lady on The Courtship, a Regency inspired dating show – think The Bachelor meets Bridgerton. Let’s get to know our protagonist as she embarks on her quest for love!
The pandemic provided a perfect opportunity for Nicole to reinvent herself. “Before coding, I was an Architecture Associate for two years. I worked at a Tacoma, WA based firm with a concentration on residential and commercial building plans and 3D Revit models. When the pandemic hit, I lost my job, and knew that architecture positions were scarce due to the halt in construction. So, knowing the rapid growth of the tech industry and its remote friendly adaptability, I found a 3-month coding program through the University of Washington and signed up, and thank goodness I did!” She enjoys her new life in the tech world, but she is always open to new opportunities. “I work in a tech startup! I am so grateful that life has brought me down this path. I work for a company called Making, a social media app and classes platform for crafters. I am always looking for new opportunities in life, so although I am passionate about what I am doing now, I know there are always new, exciting things on the horizon.” In a multitude of ways, she considers herself the heroine of her own life. “I constantly push through adversity. It wasn’t easy growing up Black in predominantly white neighborhoods and schools. At times, I felt ostracized or belittled because of the color of my skin, however, this never stopped me from trailblazing. I was the first Black president of my sorority in college, USC’s Kappa Kappa Gamma, I was the first Black cover girl of the annual Seattle Seahawks’ Sea Gals calendar, and now, I am the first Black lead of The Courtship. Although none of these feats were obtained easily, I gain my strength to continue in knowing that other little girls or boys that look like me find hope in my journey.”
Despite her glowing background, Nicole has found dating during the pandemic to be a challenge. “Dating during the pandemic was one of my least favorite pandemic activities. I resorted to mainly online dating, which as we all know, can go either way. I was catfished, things were awkward when we had to wear masks the majority of the date, and altogether, I never felt like I could develop deep, meaningful connections. That is why I was so grateful to end up on the show!” Luckily, The Courtship fell in her lap at just the right time, wrapped up with a glittering, sanitary bow. “This opportunity was presented to me, and I remember thinking, I am very pleased with my life right now: I have a great job, I have a great work life balance, I am the most confident I have ever been, so I am very ready for love! And then the producers sealed the deal with ‘You will have your pick of 16 guys, live in a safe COVID free environment, and dress up like a princess while living in a castle.’ All I had to say was, ‘Sign me up!’.
Certain aspects of a Regency-style courtship appeal to Nicole. “I really appreciate how pure and simple things were in the Regency Era. I appreciated that dates were easy going, for example: horseback riding, painting, walks and a meaningful conversation over tea and crumpets. In addition, I loved the idea of my family being a part of the process. While I typically don’t include my mom and dad on postdate text threads, I love and respect them dearly and thought, why shouldn’t they become a part of my dating life as well? My parents, having been married for over 35 years, know love and sacrifice better than anyone I know – I truly appreciated their wisdom and insight throughout the process.” In fact, she often preferred it to present day dating…minus the fashion element. “I prefer courting over modern dating for a few reasons. Because we didn’t have social media or modern day distractions, I was able to foster real, meaningful connections. In addition, because the suitors had to maintain a certain level of chivalry, I felt like they worked harder and really fought to win my affection in a very gentlemanly, attractive way, and more than I have seen in modern day dating. However, as much as I love Regency courtship, I don’t necessarily want my date and me to wear corsets and tights to the pub after a Mariners’ game. That can stay in the Era!”
Her experience reminded her to focus on her feelings. “My time on the show taught me that I am looking for someone that makes me feel a certain way, not someone who checks off the boxes of a list. At first, because dating apps have trained so many of us to look for the guy that looks good on paper, I went into the process feeling that way. Over time, I realized the suitors that made me feel like I was the only person in the room, that valued me, and made me feel seen, had the most positive and lasting impression on me, and ultimately, this is what I want from a partner.” Though she remains coy about the outcome, perhaps a happy ending is in order. “Without any spoilers, I would say that I was pleasantly surprised by the number of meaningful, deep connections I made on the show! As for the rest, stay tuned.” At the end of the day, we are all the authors of our own stories. “I hope to show little Black girls, boys, or anyone that has felt less than, or not seen or valued, that the only thing that defines you as the heroine of your own story, is YOU! You write your own story. Although some people may try to rip out your pages, you ultimately hold the pen – so keep on writing.” The Courtship airs on Wednesdays on the USA Network at 11 PM ET/PT.
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Nicole Rémy Seeks the Duke of her Dreams in “The Courtship.” Photo Credit: THE COURTSHIP — Pictured: Nicole Rémy — (Photo by: Sean Gleason/USA Network).
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