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Jimmy Kimmel on Thursday addressed Donald Trump’s guilty verdict at the New York hush money trial, announced earlier the same day.
“Weeks of sleep farting all down the drain,” Kimmel joked during the monologue of Jimmy Kimmel Live! “You’ve got to hand it to him, no president has ever been convicted more than Donald Trump. How long before he starts bragging about this?”
After five weeks of testimony, a jury found the former president guilty on all 34 counts of falsifying business records on Thursday afternoon. The trail heard testimony from a former tabloid publisher, a Hollywood fixer, Trump’s former lawyer and a porn star.
“Maybe he isn’t Teflon, maybe he’s one of those sticky traps for rats,” Kimmel continued. “Maybe he’s a wet pocket full of gummy worms.”
Kimmel then played footage of Trump outside the courtroom, where he called the event a “rigged trial” and told the audience he will “keep fighting until the end.”
In response, Kimmel quipped Thursday night, “the only thing you’ll be fighting over is the jello cup on your prison cafeteria tray” and added that Trump should “automatically make those jurors the new Supreme Court.”
Sentencing for Trump will be on July 11, which Kimmel said “happens to be the same day Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton, and it’s the day El Chapo escaped from prison.”
“But this is not El Chapo,” he continued. “This is port Chapo. We’re not in Mexico. This is New York. The judge could send him to Rikers Island. Will he get probation? Maybe they’ll put him under house arrest — oh, man… for Melania, that would be, that is a double whammy with cheese is what that is.”
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