This week, the cast of The Golden Bachelorette was revealed, introducing the 24 contestants who will be competing for Joan Vassos’s heart in the upcoming series.
While the reveal has the internet swooning over the new show’s eligible bachelors, the show does more than spotlight camera-friendly faces. With more singles in their 50s and 60s than ever before, The Golden Bachelorette shines a light on what it’s like to find love again at or near retirement age.
But is it an accurate depiction of dating as a single senior? To figure that out, Yahoo Entertainment tapped experts on the topic.
Who is the ‘Golden Bachelorette’?
The new series — premiering Sept. 18 on ABC — is a spin-off of The Golden Bachelor, which followed 72-year-old Gerry Turner as he searched for a partner to share the golden years of his life.
This time, the show will center on Vassos, 61, whom Bachelor fans will recognize as a contestant on The Golden Bachelor. (Midway through the show, Vassos quit in order to look after her daughter.)
Now, Vassos is back, and she’s continuing her search for love as a single senior.
Who are the bachelors?
Ranging in age from 57 to 69, the men of The Golden Bachelorette run the gamut of backgrounds and professions — from New York City firefighter to salon owner to rancher.
Recently, the men opened up about the struggles of dating as a senior in an Instagram video promoting the new show — sentiments that seem to resonate with those who have sought love in their 50s, 60s and beyond.
“Starting to date again was hard,” said Kim, a 69-year-old retired Navy captain.
“Dating at this age is a little bit like getting back on a bike,” said Dan, a 64-year-old private investor.
“Let’s just say it’s a whole lot different than when I was in college,” said Guy, a 66-year-old emergency room doctor.
The realities of dating in your 60s
Tom Blake, an author and consultant who’s been writing about finding love after 50 for over three decades, told Yahoo Entertainment that dating at retirement age comes with a unique set of challenges.
“As people age, dating becomes more and more challenging. It takes time, energy, a stiff upper lip and even money,” said Blake.
“For women, as they age, the ratio of available single women to available single men increases each year,” he said. “By age 60, it’s close to 3 to 1. At 70, 4 to 1. And at age 80, 5 or 6 to 1.”
Research shows that men and women tend to be single at different stages of life both because of men’s shorter life expectancy and their tendency to marry later in life than women.
For Andi Pollinger, 67, a retired marketing executive who has watched every episode of The Golden Bachelor with great interest, finding love again in her 60s after divorce was exciting.
However, in order to get there, she first had to face a lot of fears, and a lot of online dating duds.
“Dating after 32 years of marriage was scary at first. I wondered if anyone would find me attractive after all this time,” Pollinger, who chronicled her 2018 dating journey online, told Yahoo Entertainment.
What she found through online dating and meeting people through friends was that a lot of people her age were looking for love, and that the butterflies were just as real now as they were decades ago.
She also realized that dating at her age could be an adventure.
“As the dates accumulated, I was less afraid and more excited to put on makeup and get out there,” she said. “Dating got me out of the house a few times a month, and I usually had an interesting conversation with whomever I met, even if he didn’t turn out to be my perfect match.”
But for Pollinger, the best part of dating in her 60s was learning about herself.
“Dating at my age meant I wasn’t facing any of the pressures to settle down and start a family. I was free to be myself and seek what would make me truly happy,” she said.
What ‘The Golden Bachelor’ got right
While watching The Golden Bachelor, Pollinger found it was the women who really made the show. “I could totally relate to their feelings about finding love at this stage of life. I thought they honestly portrayed the benefits, and the challenges, of seeking love this time around.”
Pollinger also appreciated the camaraderie depicted in the show.
“There was none of the cattiness or drama that plagues the younger versions of the franchise. These women were friends,” said Pollinger.
“They supported one another, and as much as they may have hoped to become the ‘chosen’ contestant, they were mature enough to see this experience as a way to ‘get back in the game’ whether or not they landed Gerry in the end,” she added.
One moment that stood out for Pollinger was during the “Women Tell All” episode, in which the eliminated contestants came together to talk about their experiences.
In the episode, several women mentioned the “weak-knees moment” after kissing Gerry — a feeling Pollinger relates to.
“They described it like an awakening of feelings they didn’t know were still there, an affirmation that desire and passion remain with us all our lives,” said Pollinger.
What ‘The Golden Bachelor’ got wrong
While Pollinger said the show accurately depicted the emotions that accompany senior dating, she also noted how The Golden Bachelor missed the mark on some things — namely, the realities of the contestants’ ages.
“If there’s anything I wish they had done differently, it was not ending the show with a marriage proposal,” Pollinger said. “At our age, that’s not necessarily the next step for everyone.”
Another faux pas? Sleeping arrangements. “Please, could they at least give everyone regular beds instead of bunk beds? It’s just not safe for all of us!”
When Golden Bachelor contestant Sandra, 75, learned that she and the other women would be sleeping in bunk beds, she was quick to grab the bottom bunk.
“[I] didn’t want to be on top,” she said in the episode. “I’ve had my knees replaced. That’s a lot of climbing. So I’m gonna be underneath. [It] puts me three steps closer to the bathroom.”
Regardless of the missed marks, The Golden Bachelor — and now, The Golden Bachelorette — demonstrate to viewers that pursuing and finding love as a senior isn’t just possible, according to Pollinger, it can also be rewarding.
“We’re all baby boomers who don’t want to slow down or admit we’re old,” she said. “But now, without the burden of raising a family or perhaps even working, there’s an incredible freedom to be adventurous, try new things, date people who are nothing like you and see what clicks.”
